Well, then they sailed in on the general investigation,and there we had it, up and down, hour in, hour out,and nobody never said a word about supper,nor ever seemed to think about it—and so they kept it up,and kept it up; and it _was_ the worst mixed-up thing you ever see.They made the king tell his yarn,and they made the old gentleman tell his’n;and anybody but a lot of prejudiced chuckleheads would a _seen_ that the old gentleman was spinning truth and t’other one lies. And by-and-by they had me up to tell what I knowed. The king he give me a left-handed look out of the corner of his eye, and so I knowed enough to talk on the right side. I begun to tell about Sheffield, and how we lived there, and all about the English Wilkses, and so on; but I didn’t get pretty fur till the doctor begun to laugh; and Levi Bell, the lawyer, says:
“Set down, my boy; I wouldn’t strain myself if I was you.I reckon you ain’t used to lying,it don’t seem to come handy; what you want is practice.You do it pretty awkward.”
I didn’t care nothing for the compliment,but I was glad to be let off, anyway.
The doctor he started to say something, and turns and says:
“If you’d been in town at first,Levi Bell—” The king broke in and reached out his hand, and says:
“Why, is this my poor dead brother’s old friend that he’s wrote so often about?”
The lawyer and him shook hands,and the lawyer smiled and looked pleased,and they talked right along awhile,and then got to one side and talked low;and at last the lawyer speaks up and says:
“That’ll fix it. I’ll take the order and send it,along with your brother’s,and then they’ll know it’s all right.”
So they got some paper and a pen,and the king he set down and twisted his head to one side,and chawed his tongue, and scrawled off something;and then they give the pen to the duke—and then for the first time the duke looked sick. But he took the pen and wrote. So then the lawyer turns to the new old gentleman and says:
“You and your brother please write a line or two and sign your names. ”
The old gentleman wrote, but nobody couldn’t read it.The lawyer looked powerful astonished, and says:
“Well, it beats _me_”—and snaked a lot of old letters out of his pocket,and examined them, and then examined the old man’s writing,and then _them_ again; and then says:“These old letters is from Harvey Wilks;and here’s _these_ two handwritings,and anybody can see _they_ didn’t write them” (the king and the duke looked sold and foolish, I tell you, to see how the lawyer had took them in), “and here’s _this_ old gentleman’s hand writing, and anybody can tell, easy enough, _he_ didn’t write them—fact is, the scratches he makes ain’t properly _writing_ at all. Now, here’s some letters from—”
The new old gentleman says:
“If you please, let me explain.Nobody can read my hand but my brother there—so he copies for me.It’s _his_ hand you’ve got there, not mine.”
“_Well!_” says the lawyer, “this _is_ a state of things.I’ve got some of William’s letters, too;so if you’ll get him to write a line or so we can com—”
“He _can’t_ write with his left hand,” says the old gentleman.“If he could use his right hand,you would see that he wrote his own letters and mine too.Look at both, please—they’re by the same hand.”
The lawyer done it, and says:
“I believe it’s so—and if it ain’t so,there’s a heap stronger resemblance than I’d noticed before,anyway. Well, well, well!I thought we was right on the track of a solution,but it’s gone to grass, partly. But anyway,_one_ thing is proved—_these_ two ain’t either of ’em Wilkses”—and he wagged his head towards the king and the duke.
Well, what do you think?That muleheaded old fool wouldn’t give in _then!_ Indeed he wouldn’t. Said it warn’t no fair test.Said his brother William was the cussedest joker in the world,and hadn’t _tried_ to write—_he_ see William was going to play one of his jokes the minute he put the pen to paper. And so he warmed up and went warbling and warbling right along till he was actuly beginning to believe what he was saying _himself;_ but pretty soon the new gentleman broke in, and says:
“I’ve thought of something.Is there anybody here that helped to lay out my br—helped to lay out the late Peter Wilks for burying?”
“Yes,” says somebody, “me and Ab Turner done it. We’re both here.”
Then the old man turns towards the king, and says:
“Perhaps this gentleman can tell me what was tattooed on his breast?”
Blamed if the king didn’t have to brace up mighty quick,or he’d a squshed down like a bluff bank that the river has cut under,it took him so sudden; and, mind you,it was a thing that was calculated to make most _anybody_ sqush to get fetched such a solid one as that without any notice, because how was _he_ going to know what was tattooed on the man?He whitened a little; he couldn’t help it;and it was mighty still in there,and everybody bending a little forwards and gazing at him.Says I to myself, _Now_ he’ll throw up the sponge—there ain’t no more use. Well, did he?A body can’t hardly believe it, but he didn’t.I reckon he thought he’d keep the thing up till he tired them people out,so they’d thin out,and him and the duke could break loose and get away.Anyway, he set there,and pretty soon he begun to smile, and says:
“Mf!It’s a _very_ tough question, _ain’t_ it!_Yes_, sir, I k’n tell you what’s tattooed on his breast.It’s jest a small, thin, blue arrow—that’s what it is;and if you don’t look clost, you can’t see it._Now_ what do you say—hey?”
Well, _I_ never see anything like that old blister for clean out-and-out cheek.
The new old gentleman turns brisk towards Ab Turner and his pard,and his eye lights up like he judged he’d got the king _this_ time, and says:
“There—you’ve heard what he said!Was there any such mark on Peter Wilks’ breast?”
Both of them spoke up and says:
“We didn’t see no such mark.”
“Good!” says the old gentleman. “Now,what you _did_ see on his breast was a small dim P,and a B (which is an initial he dropped when he was young),and a W, with dashes between them, so:P—B—W”—and he marked them that way on a piece of paper.“Come, ain’t that what you saw?”
Both of them spoke up again, and says:
“No, we _didn’t_. We never seen any marks at all.”
Well, everybody _was_ in a state of mind now, and they sings out:
“The whole _bilin_’ of ’m ’s frauds!Le’s duck ’em!le’s drown ’em!le’s ride ’em on a rail!” and everybody was whooping at once,and there was a rattling powwow.But the lawyer he jumps on the table and yells, and says:
“Gentlemen—gentle_men!_ Hear me just a word—just a _single_ word—if you PLEASE!There’s one way yet—let’s go and dig up the corpse and look. ”
That took them.
“Hooray!” they all shouted, and was starting right off;but the lawyer and the doctor sung out:
“Hold on, hold on!Collar all these four men and the boy,and fetch _them_ along, too!”
“We’ll do it!” they all shouted; “and if we don’t find them marks we’ll lynch the whole gang!”
I _was_ scared, now, I tell you.But there warn’t no getting away, you know.They gripped us all, and marched us right along,straight for the graveyard,which was a mile and a half down the river,and the whole town at our heels,for we made noise enough,and it was only nine in the evening.
As we went by our house I wished I hadn’t sent Mary Jane out of town;because now if I could tip her the wink she’d light out and save me,and blow on our dead-beats.