I have brought Agnes from the Canterbury coach,and her cheerful and beautiful face is among us for the second time.Agnes has a great liking for Traddles,and it is capital to see them meet,and to observe the glory of Traddles as he commends the dearest girl in the world to her acquaintance.
Still I don’t believe it. We have a delightful evening,and are supremely happy; but I don’t believe it yet.I can’t collect myself.I can’t check off my happiness as it takes place.I feel in a misty and unsettled kind of state;as if I had got up very early in the morning a week or two ago,and had never been to bed since.I can’t make out when yesterday was.I seem to have been carrying the licence about,in my pocket, many months.
Next day, too, when we all go in a flock to see the house--our house--Dora’s and mine--I am quite unable to regard myself as its master. I seem to be there, by permission of somebody else. I half expect the real master to come home presently, and say he is glad to see me. Such a beautiful little house as it is, with everything so bright and new; with the flowers on the carpets looking as if freshly gathered, and the green leaves on the paper as if they had just come out; with the spotless muslin curtains, and the blushing rose-coloured furniture, and Dora’s garden hat with the blue ribbon--do I remember, now, how I loved her in such another hat when I first knew her!--already hanging on its little peg;the guitar-case quite at home on its heels in a corner;and everybody tumbling over Jip’s pagoda,which is much too big for the establishment.Another happy evening,quite as unreal as all the rest of it,and I steal into the usual room before going away.Dora is not there. I suppose they have not done trying on yet.Miss Lavinia peeps in,and tells me mysteriously that she will not be long.She is rather long, notwithstanding;but by and by I hear a rustling at the door, and someone taps.
I say, ‘Come in!’ but someone taps again.
I go to the door, wondering who it is; there,I meet a pair of bright eyes, and a blushing face;they are Dora’s eyes and face,and Miss Lavinia has dressed her in tomorrow’s dress,bonnet and all, for me to see.I take my little wife to my heart;and Miss Lavinia gives a little scream because I tumble the bonnet,and Dora laughs and cries at once,because I am so pleased;and I believe it less than ever.
‘Do you think it pretty, Doady?’ says Dora.
Pretty!I should rather think I did.
‘And are you sure you like me very much?’ says Dora.
The topic is fraught with such danger to the bonnet,that Miss Lavinia gives another little scream,and begs me to understand that Dora is only to be looked at,and on no account to be touched.So Dora stands in a delightful state of confusion for a minute or two,to be admired; and then takes off her bonnet--looking so natural without it!--and runs away with it in her hand;and comes dancing down again in her own familiar dress,and asks Jip if I have got a beautiful little wife,and whether he’ll forgive her for being married,and kneels down to make him stand upon the cookery-book,for the last time in her single life.
I go home, more incredulous than ever,to a lodging that I have hard by;and get up very early in the morning,to ride to the Highgate road and fetch my aunt.
I have never seen my aunt in such state.She is dressed in lavender-coloured silk,and has a white bonnet on, and is amazing.Janet has dressed her, and is there to look at me.Peggotty is ready to go to church,intending to behold the ceremony from the gallery. Mr.Dick, who is to give my darling to me at the altar,has had his hair curled. Traddles,whom I have taken up by appointment at the turnpike,presents a dazzling combination of cream colour and light blue;and both he and Mr.Dick have a general effect about them of being all gloves.
No doubt I see this, because I know it is so;but I am astray, and seem to see nothing.Nor do I believe anything whatever. Still,as we drive along in an open carriage,this fairy marriage is real enough to fill me with a sort of wondering pity for the unfortunate people who have no part in it, but are sweeping out the shops, and going to their daily occupations.
My aunt sits with my hand in hers all the way.When we stop a little way short of the church,to put down Peggotty, whom we have brought on the box,she gives it a squeeze, and me a kiss.
‘God bless you, Trot!My own boy never could be dearer.I think of poor dear Baby this morning.’ ‘So do I.And of all I owe to you, dear aunt.’
‘Tut, child!’ says my aunt; and gives her hand in overflowing cordiality to Traddles,who then gives his to Mr. Dick,who then gives his to me,who then gives mine to Traddles,and then we come to the church door.
The church is calm enough, I am sure;but it might be a steam-power loom in full action,for any sedative effect it has on me.I am too far gone for that.
The rest is all a more or less incoherent dream.
A dream of their coming in with Dora;of the pew-opener arranging us, like a drill-sergeant,before the altar rails; of my wondering, even then,why pew-openers must always be the most disagreeable females procurable,and whether there is any religious dread of a disastrous infection of good-humour which renders it indispensable to set those vessels of vinegar upon the road to Heaven.
Of the clergyman and clerk appearing;of a few boatmen and some other people strolling in;of an ancient mariner behind me,strongly flavouring the church with rum;of the service beginning in a deep voice,and our all being very attentive.
Of Miss Lavinia, who acts as a semi-auxiliary bridesmaid,being the first to cry,and of her doing homage (as I take it) to the memory of Pidger,in sobs; of Miss Clarissa applying a smelling-bottle;of Agnes taking care of Dora;of my aunt endeavouring to represent herself as a model of sternness,with tears rolling down her face;of little Dora trembling very much,and making her responses in faint whispers.
Of our kneeling down together, side by side;of Dora’s trembling less and less,but always clasping Agnes by the hand;of the service being got through, quietly and gravely;of our all looking at each other in an April state of smiles and tears,when it is over; of my young wife being hysterical in the vestry,and crying for her poor papa, her dear papa.
Of her soon cheering up again,and our signing the register all round.Of my going into the gallery for Peggotty to bring her to sign it;of Peggotty’s hugging me in a corner,and telling me she saw my own dear mother married;of its being over, and our going away.