Then it was terrible; my intuition was right!For a moment I thought, and as my eyes ranged the room,unconsciously looking for something or some opportunity to aid me,they lit on a great batch of typewriting on the table.His eyes caught the look in mine, and,without his thinking, followed their direction.As they saw the parcel he realised my meaning.
“You do not know me,” I said.“When you have read those papers--my own diary and my husband’s also,which I have typed--you will know me better.I have not faltered in giving every thought of my own heart in this cause;but, of course, you do not know me--yet;and I must not expect you to trust me so far.”
He is certainly a man of noble nature;poor dear Lucy was right about him.He stood up and opened a large drawer,in which were arranged in order a number of hollow cylinders of metal covered with dark wax, and said:--
“You are quite right.I did not trust you because I did not know you.But I know you now;and let me say that I should have known you long ago.I know that Lucy told you of me;she told me of you too.May I make the only atonement in my power?Take the cylinders and hear them--the first half-dozen of them are personal to me, and they will not horrify you; then you will know me better. Dinner will by then be ready. In the meantime I shall read over some of these documents, and shall be better able to understand certain things.” He carried the phonograph himself up to my sitting-room and adjusted it for me. Now I shall learn something pleasant, I am sure; for it will tell me the other side of a true love episode of which I know one side already....
_Dr. Seward’s Diary._
_29 September._--I was so absorbed in that wonderful diary of Jonathan Harker and that other of his wife that I let the time run on without thinking. Mrs. Harker was not down when the maid came to announce dinner, so I said: “She is possibly tired; let dinner wait an hour,” and I went on with my work. I had just finished Mrs. Harker’s diary, when she came in. She looked sweetly pretty, but very sad, and her eyes were flushed with crying. This somehow moved me much. Of late I have had cause for tears, God knows!but the relief of them was denied me;and now the sight of those sweet eyes,brightened with recent tears,went straight to my heart.So I said as gently as I could:--
“I greatly fear I have distressed you.”
“Oh, no, not distressed me,” she replied,“but I have been more touched than I can say by your grief.That is a wonderful machine, but it is cruelly true.It told me, in its very tones,the anguish of your heart.It was like a soul crying out to Almighty God.No one must hear them spoken ever again!See, I have tried to be useful.I have copied out the words on my typewriter,and none other need now hear your heart beat, as I did. ”
“No one need ever know, shall ever know,” I said in a low voice.She laid her hand on mine and said very gravely:--
“Ah, but they must!”
“Must!But why?” I asked.
“Because it is a part of the terrible story,a part of poor dear Lucy’s death and all that led to it;because in the struggle which we have before us to rid the earth of this terrible monster we must have all the knowledge and all the help which we can get. I think that the cylinders which you gave me contained more than you intended me to know; but I can see that there are in your record many lights to this dark mystery. You will let me help, will you not?I know all up to a certain point; and I see already,though your diary only took me to 7 September,how poor Lucy was beset,and how her terrible doom was being wrought out.Jonathan and I have been working day and night since Professor Van Helsing saw us. He is gone to Whitby to get more information, and he will be here to-morrow to help us. We need have no secrets amongst us; working together and with absolute trust, we can surely be stronger than if some of us were in the dark.” She looked at me so appealingly, and at the same time manifested such courage and resolution in her bearing, that I gave in at once to her wishes. “You shall,” I said, “do as you like in the matter. God forgive me if I do wrong!There are terrible things yet to learn of;but if you have so far travelled on the road to poor Lucy’s death,you will not be content, I know, to remain in the dark.Nay, the end--the very end--may give you a gleam of peace.Come, there is dinner.We must keep one another strong for what is before us;we have a cruel and dreadful task.When you have eaten you shall learn the rest,and I shall answer any questions you ask--if there be anything which you do not understand, though it was apparent to us who were present.”
_Mina Harker’s Journal._
_29 September._--After dinner I came with Dr.Seward to his study.He brought back the phonograph from my room,and I took my typewriter.He placed me in a comfortable chair,and arranged the phonograph so that I could touch it without getting up,and showed me how to stop it in case I should want to pause.Then he very thoughtfully took a chair,with his back to me,so that I might be as free as possible,and began to read. I put the forked metal to my ears and listened.
When the terrible story of Lucy’s death,and--and all that followed, was done,I lay back in my chair powerless.Fortunately I am not of a fainting disposition.When Dr. Seward saw me he jumped up with a horrified exclamation,and hurriedly taking a case-bottle from a cupboard,gave me some brandy,which in a few minutes somewhat restored me.My brain was all in a whirl,and only that there came through all the multitude of horrors,the holy ray of light that my dear,dear Lucy was at last at peace,I do not think I could have borne it without making a scene.It is all so wild, and mysterious,and strange that if I had not known Jonathan’s experience in Transylvania I could not have believed. As it was, I didn’t know what to believe, and so got out of my difficulty by attending to something else. I took the cover off my typewriter, and said to Dr. Seward:--
“Let me write this all out now. We must be ready for Dr.Van Helsing when he comes.I have sent a telegram to Jonathan to come on here when he arrives in London from Whitby. In this matter dates are everything, and I think that if we get all our material ready, and have every item put in chronological order, we shall have done much. You tell me that Lord Godalming and Mr. Morris are coming too. Let us be able to tell him when they come.” He accordingly set the phonograph at a slow pace, and I began to typewrite from the beginning of the seventh cylinder. I used manifold, and so took three copies of the diary, just as I had done with all the rest. It was late when I got through, but Dr. Seward went about his work of going his round of the patients; when he had finished he came back and sat near me, reading, so that I did not feel too lonely whilst I worked. How good and thoughtful he is; the world seems full of good men--even if there _are_ monsters in it. Before I left him I remembered what Jonathan put in his diary of the Professor’s perturbation at reading something in an evening paper at the station at Exeter; so, seeing that Dr. Seward keeps his newspapers, I borrowed the files of “The Westminster Gazette” and “The Pall Mall Gazette,” and took them to my room. I remember how much “The Dailygraph” and “The Whitby Gazette,” of which I had made cuttings, helped us to understand the terrible events at Whitby when Count Dracula landed, so I shall look through the evening papers since then, and perhaps I shall get some new light. I am not sleepy, and the work will help to keep me quiet.
_Dr. Seward’s Diary._