“I confess that I do think there is a disparity,too great a disparity,and in a point no less essential than mind.I regard Louisa Musgrove as a very amiable,sweet-tempered girl,and not deficient in understanding,but Benwick is something more. He is a clever man,a reading man; and I confess,that I do consider his attaching himself to her with some surprise.Had it been the effect of gratitude,had he learnt to love her,because he believed her to be preferring him,it would have been another thing.But I have no reason to suppose it so. It seems,on the contrary, to have been a perfectly spontaneous,untaught feeling on his side, and this surprises me.A man like him, in his situation!with a heart pierced, wounded, almost broken!Fanny Harville was a very superior creature,and his attachment to her was indeed attachment.A man does not recover from such a devotion of the heart to such a woman.He ought not; he does not.”
Either from the consciousness, however,that his friend had recovered,or from other consciousness, he went no farther;and Anne who, in spite of the agitated voice in which the latter part had been uttered, and in spite of all the various noises of the room, the almost ceaseless slam of the door, and ceaseless buzz of persons walking through, had distinguished every word, was struck, gratified, confused, and beginning to breathe very quick, and feel an hundred things in a moment. It was impossible for her to enter on such a subject; and yet, after a pause, feeling the necessity of speaking, and having not the smallest wish for a total change, she only deviated so far as to say—
“You were a good while at Lyme, I think?”
“About a fortnight. I could not leave it till Louisa’s doing well was quite ascertained. I had been too deeply concerned in the mischief to be soon at peace. It had been my doing, solely mine. She would not have been obstinate if I had not been weak. The country round Lyme is very fine. I walked and rode a great deal; and the more I saw, the more I found to admire.”
“I should very much like to see Lyme again,” said Anne.
“Indeed!I should not have supposed that you could have found anything in Lyme to inspire such a feeling. The horror and distress you were involved in, the stretch of mind, the wear of spirits!I should have thought your last impressions of Lyme must have been strong disgust.”
“The last hours were certainly very painful,” replied Anne; “but when pain is over,the remembrance of it often becomes a pleasure.One does not love a place the less for having suffered in it,unless it has been all suffering,nothing but suffering,which was by no means the case at Lyme.We were only in anxiety and distress during the last two hours,and previously there had been a great deal of enjoyment.So much novelty and beauty!I have travelled so little,that every fresh place would be interesting to me;but there is real beauty at Lyme;and in short” (with a faint blush at some recollections),“altogether my impressions of the place are very agreeable. ”
As she ceased, the entrance door opened again,and the very party appeared for whom they were waiting.“Lady Dalrymple, Lady Dalrymple,” was the rejoicing sound;and with all the eagerness compatible with anxious elegance,Sir Walter and his two ladies stepped forward to meet her.Lady Dalrymple and Miss Carteret,escorted by Mr Elliot and Colonel Wallis,who had happened to arrive nearly at the same instant,advanced into the room. The others joined them,and it was a group in which Anne found herself also necessarily included.She was divided from Captain Wentworth.Their interesting, almost too interesting conversation must be broken up for a time, but slight was the penance compared with the happiness which brought it on!She had learnt, in the last ten minutes,more of his feelings towards Louisa,more of all his feelings than she dared to think of;and she gave herself up to the demands of the party,to the needful civilities of the moment,with exquisite, though agitated sensations.She was in good humour with all.She had received ideas which disposed her to be courteous and kind to all,and to pity every one,as being less happy than herself.
The delightful emotions were a little subdued,when on stepping back from the group,to be joined again by Captain Wentworth,she saw that he was gone.She was just in time to see him turn into the Concert Room.He was gone; he had disappeared,she felt a moment’s regret.But “they should meet again. He would look for her,he would find her out before the evening were over,and at present, perhaps, it was as well to be asunder.She was in need of a little interval for recollection.”
Upon Lady Russell’s appearance soon afterwards,the whole party was collected,and all that remained was to marshal themselves,and proceed into the Concert Room;and be of all the consequence in their power,draw as many eyes, excite as many whispers,and disturb as many people as they could.
Very, very happy were both Elizabeth and Anne Elliot as they walked in.Elizabeth arm in arm with Miss Carteret,and looking on the broad back of the dowager Viscountess Dalrymple before her,had nothing to wish for which did not seem within her reach;and Anne—but it would be an insult to the nature of Anne’s felicity,to draw any comparison between it and her sister’s;the origin of one all selfish vanity,of the other all generous attachment.
Anne saw nothing, thought nothing of the brilliancy of the room.Her happiness was from within.Her eyes were bright and her cheeks glowed;but she knew nothing about it.She was thinking only of the last half hour,and as they passed to their seats,her mind took a hasty range over it.His choice of subjects, his expressions,and still more his manner and look,had been such as she could see in only one light.His opinion of Louisa Musgrove’s inferiority,an opinion which he had seemed solicitous to give,his wonder at Captain Benwick,his feelings as to a first, strong attachment;sentences begun which he could not finish,his half averted eyes and more than half expressive glance,all, all declared that he had a heart returning to her at least;that anger, resentment, avoidance, were no more;and that they were succeeded,not merely by friendship and regard,but by the tenderness of the past. Yes,some share of the tenderness of the past.She could not contemplate the change as implying less. He must love her.
These were thoughts, with their attendant visions,which occupied and flurried her too much to leave her any power of observation;and she passed along the room without having a glimpse of him,without even trying to discern him.When their places were determined on,and they were all properly arranged,she looked round to see if he should happen to be in the same part of the room,but he was not; her eye could not reach him;and the concert being just opening,she must consent for a time to be happy in a humbler way.
The party was divided and disposed of on two contiguous benches:Anne was among those on the foremost,and Mr Elliot had manœuvred so well,with the assistance of his friend Colonel Wallis,as to have a seat by her. Miss Elliot,surrounded by her cousins,and the principal object of Colonel Wallis’s gallantry,was quite contented.
Anne’s mind was in a most favourable state for the entertainment of the evening;it was just occupation enough:she had feelings for the tender, spirits for the gay,attention for the scientific,and patience for the wearisome;and had never liked a concert better,at least during the first act. Towards the close of it,in the interval succeeding an Italian song,she explained the words of the song to Mr Elliot.They had a concert bill between them.