During the whole of this time,Scrooge had acted like a man out of his wits.His heart and soul were in the scene,and with his former self. He corroborated everything,remembered everything, enjoyed everything,and underwent the strangest agitation.It was not until now,when the bright faces of his former self and Dick were turned from them,that he remembered the Ghost,and became conscious that it was looking full upon him,while the light upon its head burnt very clear.
"A small matter," said the Ghost,"to make these silly folks so full of gratitude."
"Small!" echoed Scrooge.
The Spirit signed to him to listen to the two apprentices,who were pouring out their hearts in praise of Fezziwig:and when he had done so, said,
"Why!Is it not?He has spent but a few pounds of your mortal money:three or four perhaps.Is that so much that he deserves this praise?"
"It isn't that," said Scrooge, heated by the remark,and speaking unconsciously like his former,not his latter, self."It isn't that, Spirit.He has the power to render us happy or unhappy;to make our service light or burdensome;a pleasure or a toil.Say that his power lies in words and looks;in things so slight and insignificant that it is impossible to add and count 'em up: what then?The happiness he gives,is quite as great as if it cost a fortune."
He felt the Spirit's glance, and stopped.
"What is the matter?" asked the Ghost.
"Nothing particular," said Scrooge.
"Something, I think?" the Ghost insisted.
"No," said Scrooge, "No.I should like to be able to say a word or two to my clerk just now. That's all."
His former self turned down the lamps as he gave utterance to the wish;and Scrooge and the Ghost again stood side by side in the open air.
"My time grows short," observed the Spirit. "Quick!"
This was not addressed to Scrooge,or to any one whom he could see,but it produced an immediate effect.For again Scrooge saw himself. He was older now;a man in the prime of life.His face had not the harsh and rigid lines of later years;but it had begun to wear the signs of care and avarice.There was an eager, greedy, restless motion in the eye,which showed the passion that had taken root,and where the shadow of the growing tree would fall.
He was not alone, but sat by the side of a fair young girl in a mourning-dress:in whose eyes there were tears,which sparkled in the light that shone out of the Ghost of Christmas Past.
"It matters little," she said, softly. "To you,very little. Another idol has displaced me;and if it can cheer and comfort you in time to come,as I would have tried to do,I have no just cause to grieve."
"What Idol has displaced you?" he rejoined.
"A golden one."
"This is the even-handed dealing of the world!" he said."There is nothing on which it is so hard as poverty;and there is nothing it professes to condemn with such severity as the pursuit of wealth!"
"You fear the world too much," she answered, gently."All your other hopes have merged into the hope of being beyond the chance of its sordid reproach. I have seen your nobler aspirations fall off one by one, until the master-passion, Gain, engrosses you. Have I not?"
"What then?" he retorted. "Even if I have grown so much wiser, what then?I am not changed towards you."
She shook her head.
"Am I?"
"Our contract is an old one.It was made when we were both poor and content to be so,until, in good season,we could improve our worldly fortune by our patient industry.You are changed. When it was made,you were another man."
"I was a boy," he said impatiently.
"Your own feeling tells you that you were not what you are," she returned. "I am.That which promised happiness when we were one in heart,is fraught with misery now that we are two.How often and how keenly I have thought of this,I will not say. It is enough that I have thought of it,and can release you."
"Have I ever sought release?"
"In words. No. Never."
"In what, then?"
"In a changed nature; in an altered spirit;in another atmosphere of life;another Hope as its great end.In everything that made my love of any worth or value in your sight.If this had never been between us," said the girl,looking mildly, but with steadiness, upon him;"tell me, would you seek me out and try to win me now?Ah, no!"
He seemed to yield to the justice of this supposition,in spite of himself. But he said with a struggle, "You think not."
"I would gladly think otherwise if I could," she answered,"Heaven knows!When I have learned a Truth like this,I know how strong and irresistible it must be.But if you were free to-day, to-morrow, yesterday,can even I believe that you would choose a dowerless girl--you who,in your very confidence with her,weigh everything by Gain: or, choosing her,if for a moment you were false enough to your one guiding principle to do so,do I not know that your repentance and regret would surely follow?I do; and I release you. With a full heart,for the love of him you once were."
He was about to speak;but with her head turned from him, she resumed.
"You may--the memory of what is past half makes me hope you will--have pain in this. A very, very brief time, and you will dismiss the recollection of it, gladly, as an unprofitable dream, from which it happened well that you awoke. May you be happy in the life you have chosen!"
She left him, and they parted.
"Spirit!" said Scrooge, "show me no more!Conduct me home. Why do you delight to torture me?"
"One shadow more!" exclaimed the Ghost.
"No more!" cried Scrooge. "No more. I don't wish to see it. Show me no more!"
But the relentless Ghost pinioned him in both his arms,and forced him to observe what happened next.
They were in another scene and place; a room,not very large or handsome, but full of comfort.Near to the winter fire sat a beautiful young girl,so like that last that Scrooge believed it was the same,until he saw her, now a comely matron,sitting opposite her daughter.The noise in this room was perfectly tumultuous,for there were more children there,than Scrooge in his agitated state of mind could count;and, unlike the celebrated herd in the poem,they were not forty children conducting themselves like one,but every child was conducting itself like forty.The consequences were uproarious beyond belief;but no one seemed to care; on the contrary,the mother and daughter laughed heartily,and enjoyed it very much; and the latter,soon beginning to mingle in the sports,got pillaged by the young brigands most ruthlessly.What would I not have given to be one of them!Though I never could have been so rude, no, no!I wouldn't for the wealth of all the world have crushed that braided hair,and torn it down; and for the precious little shoe,I wouldn't have plucked it off, God bless my soul!to save my life. As to measuring her waist in sport,as they did, bold young brood, I couldn't have done it;I should have expected my arm to have grown round it for a punishment,and never come straight again.And yet I should have dearly liked, I own,to have touched her lips; to have questioned her,that she might have opened them;to have looked upon the lashes of her downcast eyes,and never raised a blush;to have let loose waves of hair,an inch of which would be a keepsake beyond price:in short, I should have liked, I do confess,to have had the lightest licence of a child,and yet to have been man enough to know its value.