“There is no hurry on my side.I am only ready whenever you are.I am in very good anchorage here,” (smiling at Anne),“well supplied, and want for nothing.No hurry for a signal at all. Well, Miss Elliot,” (lowering his voice), “as I was saying,we shall never agree, I suppose, upon this point.No man and woman would, probably.But let me observe that all histories are against you—all stories,prose and verse. If I had such a memory as Benwick,I could bring you fifty quotations in a moment on my side the argument,and I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which had not something to say upon woman’s inconstancy. Songs and proverbs, all talk of woman’s fickleness. But perhaps you will say, these were all written by men.”
“Perhaps I shall. Yes, yes, if you please,no reference to examples in books.Men have had every advantage of us in telling their own story.Education has been theirs in so much higher a degree;the pen has been in their hands.I will not allow books to prove anything.”
“But how shall we prove anything?”
“We never shall. We never can expect to prove any thing upon such a point.It is a difference of opinion which does not admit of proof.We each begin, probably,with a little bias towards our own sex;and upon that bias build every circumstance in favour of it which has occurred within our own circle; many of which circumstances (perhaps those very cases which strike us the most) may be precisely such as cannot be brought forward without betraying a confidence, or in some respect saying what should not be said.”
“Ah!” cried Captain Harville, in a tone of strong feeling,“if I could but make you comprehend what a man suffers when he takes a last look at his wife and children, and watches the boat that he has sent them off in, as long as it is in sight, and then turns away and says, ‘God knows whether we ever meet again!’ And then, if I could convey to you the glow of his soul when he does see them again; when, coming back after a twelvemonth’s absence, perhaps, and obliged to put into another port, he calculates how soon it be possible to get them there, pretending to deceive himself, and saying, ‘They cannot be here till such a day,’ but all the while hoping for them twelve hours sooner, and seeing them arrive at last, as if Heaven had given them wings, by many hours sooner still!If I could explain to you all this,and all that a man can bear and do, and glories to do,for the sake of these treasures of his existence!I speak, you know, only of such men as have hearts!” pressing his own with emotion.
“Oh!” cried Anne eagerly,“I hope I do justice to all that is felt by you,and by those who resemble you.God forbid that I should undervalue the warm and faithful feelings of any of my fellow-creatures!I should deserve utter contempt if I dared to suppose that true attachment and constancy were known only by woman. No, I believe you capable of everything great and good in your married lives. I believe you equal to every important exertion, and to every domestic forbearance, so long as—if I may be allowed the expression—so long as you have an object. I mean while the woman you love lives, and lives for you. All the privilege I claim for my own sex (it is not a very enviable one; you need not covet it), is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone.”
She could not immediately have uttered another sentence;her heart was too full, her breath too much oppressed.
“You are a good soul,” cried Captain Harville,putting his hand on her arm, quite affectionately.“There is no quarrelling with you.And when I think of Benwick, my tongue is tied.”
Their attention was called towards the others.Mrs Croft was taking leave.
“Here, Frederick, you and I part company, I believe,” said she. “I am going home,and you have an engagement with your friend.To-night we may have the pleasure of all meeting again at your party,” (turning to Anne).“We had your sister’s card yesterday,and I understood Frederick had a card too,though I did not see it; and you are disengaged,Frederick, are you not, as well as ourselves?”
Captain Wentworth was folding up a letter in great haste,and either could not or would not answer fully.
“Yes,” said he, “very true; here we separate,but Harville and I shall soon be after you; that is,Harville, if you are ready, I am in half a minute.I know you will not be sorry to be off.I shall be at your service in half a minute.”
Mrs Croft left them, and Captain Wentworth,having sealed his letter with great rapidity,was indeed ready, and had even a hurried, agitated air,which shewed impatience to be gone.Anne knew not how to understand it.She had the kindest “Good morning, God bless you!” from Captain Harville, but from him not a word, nor a look!He had passed out of the room without a look!
She had only time, however,to move closer to the table where he had been writing,when footsteps were heard returning; the door opened,it was himself. He begged their pardon,but he had forgotten his gloves,and instantly crossing the room to the writing table,he drew out a letter from under the scattered paper,placed it before Anne with eyes of glowing entreaty fixed on her for a time,and hastily collecting his gloves,was again out of the room,almost before Mrs Musgrove was aware of his being in it:the work of an instant!
The revolution which one instant had made in Anne,was almost beyond expression. The letter,with a direction hardly legible, to “Miss A. E.—,” was evidently the one which he had been folding so hastily.While supposed to be writing only to Captain Benwick,he had been also addressing her!On the contents of that letter depended all which this world could do for her.Anything was possible,anything might be defied rather than suspense.Mrs Musgrove had little arrangements of her own at her own table;to their protection she must trust,and sinking into the chair which he had occupied,succeeding to the very spot where he had leaned and written,her eyes devoured the following words:
“I can listen no longer in silence.I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach.You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope.Tell me not that I am too late,that such precious feelings are gone for ever.I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this?Can you fail to have understood my wishes?I had not waited even these ten days,could I have read your feelings,as I think you must have penetrated mine.I can hardly write.I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me.You sink your voice,but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature!You do us justice, indeed.You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men.Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in
F. W.
“I must go, uncertain of my fate;but I shall return hither, or follow your party,as soon as possible. A word, a look,will be enough to decide whether I enter your father’s house this evening or never.”
Such a letter was not to be soon recovered from.Half an hour’s solitude and reflection might have tranquillized her;but the ten minutes only which now passed before she was interrupted,with all the restraints of her situation,could do nothing towards tranquillity.Every moment rather brought fresh agitation.It was overpowering happiness.And before she was beyond the first stage of full sensation,Charles, Mary, and Henrietta all came in.