But she had no reason to fear Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner’s curiosity;it was not their wish to force her communication.It was evident that she was much better acquainted with Mr. Darcy than they had before any idea of;it was evident that he was very much in love with her. They saw much to interest, but nothing to justify inquiry.
Of Mr. Darcy it was now a matter of anxiety to think well; and,as far as their acquaintance reached, there was no fault to find.They could not be untouched by his politeness;and had they drawn his character from their own feelings and his servant’s report,without any reference to any other account,the circle in Hertfordshire to which he was known would not have recognized it for Mr. Darcy.There was now an interest, however, in believing the housekeeper;and they soon became sensible that the authority of a servant,who had known him since he was four years old, and whose own manners indicated respectability,was not to be hastily rejected. Neither had anything occurred in the intelligence of their Lambton friends that could materially lessen its weight.They had nothing to accuse him of but pride; pride he probably had, and if not,it would certainly be imputed by the inhabitants of a small market town where the family did not visit.It was acknowledged, however, that he was a liberal man, and did much good among the poor.
With respect to Wickham, the travellers soon found that he was not held there in much estimation;for though the chief of his concerns with the son of his patron were imperfectly understood,it was yet a well-known fact that, on his quitting Derbyshire, he had left many debts behind him, which Mr. Darcy afterwards discharged.
As for Elizabeth, her thoughts were at Pemberley this evening more than the last; and the evening,though as it passed it seemed long, was not long enough to determine her feelings towards _one_ in that mansion;and she lay awake two whole hours, endeavouring to make them out. She certainly did not hate him.No; hatred had vanished long ago, and she had almost as long been ashamed of ever feeling a dislike against him,that could be so called. The respect created by the conviction of his valuable qualities,though at first unwillingly admitted, had for some time ceased to be repugnant to her feelings;and it was now heightened into somewhat of a friendlier nature by the testimony so highly in his favour,and bringing forward his disposition in so amiable a light, which yesterday had produced.But above all, above respect and esteem,there was a motive within her of good-will which could not be overlooked. It was gratitude;--gratitude, not merely for having once loved her,but for loving her still well enough to forgive all the petulance and acrimony of her manner in rejecting him,and all the unjust accusations accompanying her rejection. He who, she had been persuaded,would avoid her as his greatest enemy, seemed, on this accidental meeting,most eager to preserve the acquaintance; and without any indelicate display of regard,or any peculiarity of manner, where their two selves only were concerned,was soliciting the good opinion of her friends, and bent on making her known to his sister.Such a change in a man of so much pride excited not only astonishment but gratitude--for to love,ardent love, it must be attributed; and, as such,its impression on her was of a sort to be encouraged, as by no means unpleasing,though it could not be exactly defined. She respected, she esteemed, she was grateful to him,she felt a real interest in his welfare;and she only wanted to know how far she wished that welfare to depend upon herself,and how far it would be for the happiness of both that she should employ the power,which her fancy told her she still possessed, of bringing on the renewal of his addresses.
It had been settled in the evening, between the aunt and niece,that such a striking civility as Miss Darcy’s,in coming to them on the very day of her arrival at Pemberley--for she had reached it only to a late breakfast--ought to be imitated,though it could not be equalled, by some exertion of politeness on their side; and, consequently,that it would be highly expedient to wait on her at Pemberley the following morning. They were,therefore, to go. Elizabeth was pleased; though when she asked herself the reason, she had very little to say in reply.
Mr. Gardiner left them soon after breakfast. The fishing scheme had been renewed the day before,and a positive engagement made of his meeting some of the gentlemen at Pemberley by noon.
[Illustration:
“Engaged by the river” ]
CHAPTER XLV.
[Illustration]
Convinced as Elizabeth now was that Miss Bingley’s dislike of her had originated in jealousy,she could not help feeling how very unwelcome her appearance at Pemberley must be to her,and was curious to know with how much civility on that lady’s side the acquaintance would now be renewed.
On reaching the house, they were shown through the hall into the saloon,whose northern aspect rendered it delightful for summer. Its windows, opening to the ground,admitted a most refreshing view of the high woody hills behind the house,and of the beautiful oaks and Spanish chestnuts which were scattered over the intermediate lawn.
In this room they were received by Miss Darcy, who was sitting there with Mrs.Hurst and Miss Bingley, and the lady with whom she lived in London.Georgiana’s reception of them was very civil, but attended with all that embarrassment which,though proceeding from shyness and the fear of doing wrong,would easily give to those who felt themselves inferior the belief of her being proud and reserved.Mrs. Gardiner and her niece, however, did her justice, and pitied her.
By Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley they were noticed only by a courtesy; and on their being seated,a pause, awkward as such pauses must always be, succeeded for a few moments.It was first broken by Mrs. Annesley, a genteel, agreeable-looking woman,whose endeavour to introduce some kind of discourse proved her to be more truly well-bred than either of the others;and between her and Mrs. Gardiner, with occasional help from Elizabeth,the conversation was carried on. Miss Darcy looked as if she wished for courage enough to join in it;and sometimes did venture a short sentence, when there was least danger of its being heard.
Elizabeth soon saw that she was herself closely watched by Miss Bingley,and that she could not speak a word, especially to Miss Darcy, without calling her attention.This observation would not have prevented her from trying to talk to the latter,had they not been seated at an inconvenient distance;but she was not sorry to be spared the necessity of saying much:her own thoughts were employing her. She expected every moment that some of the gentlemen would enter the room:she wished, she feared, that the master of the house might be amongst them;and whether she wished or feared it most, she could scarcely determine.After sitting in this manner a quarter of an hour, without hearing Miss Bingley’s voice,Elizabeth was roused by receiving from her a cold inquiry after the health of her family.She answered with equal indifference and brevity, and the other said no more.
The next variation which their visit afforded was produced by the entrance of servants with cold meat,cake, and a variety of all the finest fruits in season;but this did not take place till after many a significant look and smile from Mrs.Annesley to Miss Darcy had been given, to remind her of her post.There was now employment for the whole party; for though they could not all talk,they could all eat; and the beautiful pyramids of grapes, nectarines, and peaches, soon collected them round the table.
While thus engaged, Elizabeth had a fair opportunity of deciding whether she most feared or wished for the appearance of Mr.Darcy, by the feelings which prevailed on his entering the room; and then,though but a moment before she had believed her wishes to predominate, she began to regret that he came.
He had been some time with Mr. Gardiner, who, with two or three other gentlemen from the house,was engaged by the river; and had left him only on learning that the ladies of the family intended a visit to Georgiana that morning.No sooner did he appear, than Elizabeth wisely resolved to be perfectly easy and unembarrassed;--a resolution the more necessary to be made, but perhaps not the more easily kept,because she saw that the suspicions of the whole party were awakened against them,and that there was scarcely an eye which did not watch his behaviour when he first came into the room.In no countenance was attentive curiosity so strongly marked as in Miss Bingley’s,in spite of the smiles which overspread her face whenever she spoke to one of its objects;for jealousy had not yet made her desperate, and her attentions to Mr. Darcy were by no means over.Miss Darcy, on her brother’s entrance, exerted herself much more to talk;and Elizabeth saw that he was anxious for his sister and herself to get acquainted, and forwarded,as much as possible, every attempt at conversation on either side.Miss Bingley saw all this likewise; and, in the imprudence of anger,took the first opportunity of saying, with sneering civility,--
“Pray, Miss Eliza, are not the ----shire militia removed from Meryton?They must be a great loss to _your_ family.”
In Darcy’s presence she dared not mention Wickham’s name:but Elizabeth instantly comprehended that he was uppermost in her thoughts;and the various recollections connected with him gave her a moment’s distress; but,exerting herself vigorously to repel the ill-natured attack,she presently answered the question in a tolerably disengaged tone. While she spoke,an involuntary glance showed her Darcy with a heightened complexion, earnestly looking at her,and his sister overcome with confusion, and unable to lift up her eyes.Had Miss Bingley known what pain she was then giving her beloved friend,she undoubtedly would have refrained from the hint;but she had merely intended to discompose Elizabeth,by bringing forward the idea of a man to whom she believed her partial,to make her betray a sensibility which might injure her in Darcy’s opinion, and, perhaps,to remind the latter of all the follies and absurdities by which some part of her family were connected with that corps.Not a syllable had ever reached her of Miss Darcy’s meditated elopement.To no creature had it been revealed, where secrecy was possible, except to Elizabeth;and from all Bingley’s connections her brother was particularly anxious to conceal it,from that very wish which Elizabeth had long ago attributed to him,of their becoming hereafter her own. He had certainly formed such a plan;and without meaning that it should affect his endeavour to separate him from Miss Bennet,it is probable that it might add something to his lively concern for the welfare of his friend.
Elizabeth’s collected behaviour, however, soon quieted his emotion; and as Miss Bingley,vexed and disappointed, dared not approach nearer to Wickham, Georgiana also recovered in time,though not enough to be able to speak any more. Her brother, whose eye she feared to meet,scarcely recollected her interest in the affair;and the very circumstance which had been designed to turn his thoughts from Elizabeth,seemed to have fixed them on her more and more cheerfully.
Their visit did not continue long after the question and answer above mentioned; and while Mr.Darcy was attending them to their carriage,Miss Bingley was venting her feelings in criticisms on Elizabeth’s person, behaviour, and dress.But Georgiana would not join her. Her brother’s recommendation was enough to insure her favour:his judgment could not err; and he had spoken in such terms of Elizabeth,as to leave Georgiana without the power of finding her otherwise than lovely and amiable.When Darcy returned to the saloon, Miss Bingley could not help repeating to him some part of what she had been saying to his sister.
“How very ill Eliza Bennet looks this morning, Mr. Darcy,” she cried:“I never in my life saw anyone so much altered as she is since the winter. She is grown so brown and coarse!Louisa and I were agreeing that we should not have known her again.”
However little Mr. Darcy might have liked such an address,he contented himself with coolly replying,that he perceived no other alteration than her being rather tanned,--no miraculous consequence of travelling in the summer.
“For my own part,” she rejoined, “I must confess that I never could see any beauty in her.Her face is too thin; her complexion has no brilliancy; and her features are not at all handsome.Her nose wants character; there is nothing marked in its lines. Her teeth are tolerable,but not out of the common way; and as for her eyes, which have sometimes been called so fine,I never could perceive anything extraordinary in them. They have a sharp, shrewish look,which I do not like at all; and in her air altogether, there is a self-sufficiency without fashion, which is intolerable.”
Persuaded as Miss Bingley was that Darcy admired Elizabeth,this was not the best method of recommending herself; but angry people are not always wise;and in seeing him at last look somewhat nettled, she had all the success she expected.He was resolutely silent, however; and, from a determination of making him speak, she continued,--
“I remember, when we first knew her in Hertfordshire,how amazed we all were to find that she was a reputed beauty;and I particularly recollect your saying one night, after they had been dining at Netherfield, ‘_She_ a beauty!I should as soon call her mother a wit.’ But afterwards she seemed to improve on you,and I believe you thought her rather pretty at one time.”
“Yes,” replied Darcy, who could contain himself no longer,“but _that_ was only when I first knew her;for it is many months since I have considered her as one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance. ”
He then went away, and Miss Bingley was left to all the satisfaction of having forced him to say what gave no one any pain but herself.
Mrs. Gardiner and Elizabeth talked of all that had occurred during their visit, as they returned,except what had particularly interested them both.The looks and behaviour of everybody they had seen were discussed,except of the person who had mostly engaged their attention. They talked of his sister,his friends, his house, his fruit, of everything but himself;yet Elizabeth was longing to know what Mrs. Gardiner thought of him, and Mrs.Gardiner would have been highly gratified by her niece’s beginning the subject.
[Illustration]
Chapter XLVI.
[Illustration]
Elizabeth had been a good deal disappointed in not finding a letter from Jane on their first arrival at Lambton;and this disappointment had been renewed on each of the mornings that had now been spent there;but on the third her repining was over, and her sister justified,by the receipt of two letters from her at once,on one of which was marked that it had been mis-sent elsewhere. Elizabeth was not surprised at it,as Jane had written the direction remarkably ill.
They had just been preparing to walk as the letters came in; and her uncle and aunt,leaving her to enjoy them in quiet, set off by themselves.The one mis-sent must be first attended to; it had been written five days ago.The beginning contained an account of all their little parties and engagements,with such news as the country afforded; but the latter half, which was dated a day later,and written in evident agitation, gave more important intelligence. It was to this effect:--
“Since writing the above, dearest Lizzy,something has occurred of a most unexpected and serious nature;but I am afraid of alarming you--be assured that we are all well.What I have to say relates to poor Lydia. An express came at twelve last night,just as we were all gone to bed, from Colonel Forster,to inform us that she was gone off to Scotland with one of his officers; to own the truth, with Wickham!Imagine our surprise. To Kitty, however, it does not seem so wholly unexpected. I am very,very sorry. So imprudent a match on both sides!But I am willing to hope the best, and that his character has been misunderstood.Thoughtless and indiscreet I can easily believe him,but this step (and let us rejoice over it) marks nothing bad at heart.His choice is disinterested at least, for he must know my father can give her nothing.Our poor mother is sadly grieved. My father bears it better. How thankful am I,that we never let them know what has been said against him; we must forget it ourselves.They were off Saturday night about twelve, as is conjectured,but were not missed till yesterday morning at eight. The express was sent off directly.My dear Lizzy, they must have passed within ten miles of us.Colonel Forster gives us reason to expect him here soon. Lydia left a few lines for his wife,informing her of their intention. I must conclude, for I cannot be long from my poor mother.I am afraid you will not be able to make it out, but I hardly know what I have written.”
Without allowing herself time for consideration, and scarcely knowing what she felt, Elizabeth,on finishing this letter, instantly seized the other, and opening it with the utmost impatience,read as follows: it had been written a day later than the conclusion of the first.
“By this time, my dearest sister, you have received my hurried letter;I wish this may be more intelligible, but though not confined for time,my head is so bewildered that I cannot answer for being coherent. Dearest Lizzy,I hardly know what I would write, but I have bad news for you, and it cannot be delayed.Imprudent as a marriage between Mr. Wickham and our poor Lydia would be,we are now anxious to be assured it has taken place,for there is but too much reason to fear they are not gone to Scotland.Colonel Forster came yesterday, having left Brighton the day before,not many hours after the express. Though Lydia’s short letter to Mrs. F.gave them to understand that they were going to Gretna Green,something was dropped by Denny expressing his belief that W. never intended to go there,or to marry Lydia at all, which was repeated to Colonel F., who, instantly taking the alarm,set off from B., intending to trace their route. He did trace them easily to Clapham,but no farther; for on entering that place, they removed into a hackney-coach,and dismissed the chaise that brought them from Epsom. All that is known after this is,that they were seen to continue the London road. I know not what to think.After making every possible inquiry on that side of London, Colonel F. came on into Hertfordshire,anxiously renewing them at all the turnpikes, and at the inns in Barnet and Hatfield,but without any success,--no such people had been seen to pass through.With the kindest concern he came on to Longbourn,and broke his apprehensions to us in a manner most creditable to his heart.I am sincerely grieved for him and Mrs. F.; but no one can throw any blame on them. Our distress,my dear Lizzy, is very great. My father and mother believe the worst,but I cannot think so ill of him. Many circumstances might make it more eligible for them to be married privately in town than to pursue their first plan;and even if _he_ could form such a design against a young woman of Lydia’s connections,which is not likely, can I suppose her so lost to everything?Impossible!I grieve to find, however, that Colonel F. is not disposed to depend upon their marriage:he shook his head when I expressed my hopes, and said he feared W. was not a man to be trusted.My poor mother is really ill, and keeps her room. Could she exert herself, it would be better,but this is not to be expected; and as to my father, I never in my life saw him so affected.Poor Kitty has anger for having concealed their attachment; but as it was a matter of confidence,one cannot wonder. I am truly glad, dearest Lizzy,that you have been spared something of these distressing scenes; but now,as the first shock is over, shall I own that I long for your return?I am not so selfish, however, as to press for it, if inconvenient. Adieu!I take up my pen again to do, what I have just told you I would not; but circumstances are such,that I cannot help earnestly begging you all to come here as soon as possible.I know my dear uncle and aunt so well, that I am not afraid of requesting it,though I have still something more to ask of the former.My father is going to London with Colonel Forster instantly, to try to discover her.What he means to do, I am sure I know not;but his excessive distress will not allow him to pursue any measure in the best and safest way,and Colonel Forster is obliged to be at Brighton again to-morrow evening.In such an exigence my uncle’s advice and assistance would be everything in the world;he will immediately comprehend what I must feel, and I rely upon his goodness.”
“Oh!where, where is my uncle?” cried Elizabeth, darting from her seat as she finished the letter, in eagerness to follow him,without losing a moment of the time so precious; but as she reached the door,it was opened by a servant, and Mr. Darcy appeared.Her pale face and impetuous manner made him start,and before he could recover himself enough to speak, she,in whose mind every idea was superseded by Lydia’s situation, hastily exclaimed,“I beg your pardon, but I must leave you. I must find Mr.Gardiner this moment on business that cannot be delayed; I have not an instant to lose.”
“Good God!what is the matter?” cried he, with more feeling than politeness; then recollecting himself,“I will not detain you a minute; but let me, or let the servant, go after Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner.You are not well enough; you cannot go yourself.”
Elizabeth hesitated; but her knees trembled under her,and she felt how little would be gained by her attempting to pursue them. Calling back the servant,therefore, she commissioned him, though in so breathless an accent as made her almost unintelligible,to fetch his master and mistress home instantly.
On his quitting the room, she sat down, unable to support herself, and looking so miserably ill,that it was impossible for Darcy to leave her, or to refrain from saying,in a tone of gentleness and commiseration, “Let me call your maid.Is there nothing you could take to give you present relief?A glass of wine; shall I get you one?You are very ill.”
“No, I thank you,” she replied, endeavouring to recover herself.“There is nothing the matter with me. I am quite well,I am only distressed by some dreadful news which I have just received from Longbourn.”
She burst into tears as she alluded to it, and for a few minutes could not speak another word.Darcy, in wretched suspense, could only say something indistinctly of his
[Illustration:
“I have not an instant to lose” ]
concern, and observe her in compassionate silence. At length she spoke again.“I have just had a letter from Jane, with such dreadful news. It cannot be concealed from anyone.My youngest sister has left all her friends--has eloped;has thrown herself into the power of--of Mr. Wickham. They are gone off together from Brighton._You_ know him too well to doubt the rest. She has no money, no connections,nothing that can tempt him to--she is lost for ever.”
Darcy was fixed in astonishment.
“When I consider,” she added, in a yet more agitated voice, “that _I_ might have prevented it!_I_ who knew what he was. Had I but explained some part of it only--some part of what I learnt, to my own family!Had his character been known, this could not have happened. But it is all, all too late now.”
“I am grieved, indeed,” cried Darcy: “grieved--shocked. But is it certain, absolutely certain?”
“Oh, yes!They left Brighton together on Sunday night, and were traced almost to London, but not beyond:they are certainly not gone to Scotland.”
“And what has been done, what has been attempted, to recover her?”
“My father has gone to London, and Jane has written to beg my uncle’s immediate assistance,and we shall be off, I hope, in half an hour. But nothing can be done;I know very well that nothing can be done. How is such a man to be worked on?How are they even to be discovered?I have not the smallest hope. It is every way horrible!”
Darcy shook his head in silent acquiescence.
“When _my_ eyes were opened to his real character, oh!had I known what I ought, what I dared to do!But I knew not--I was afraid of doing too much. Wretched, wretched mistake!”
Darcy made no answer. He seemed scarcely to hear her,and was walking up and down the room in earnest meditation; his brow contracted, his air gloomy.Elizabeth soon observed, and instantly understood it. Her power was sinking;everything _must_ sink under such a proof of family weakness,such an assurance of the deepest disgrace. She could neither wonder nor condemn;but the belief of his self-conquest brought nothing consolatory to her bosom,afforded no palliation of her distress. It was, on the contrary,exactly calculated to make her understand her own wishes;and never had she so honestly felt that she could have loved him, as now, when all love must be vain.
But self, though it would intrude, could not engross her. Lydia--the humiliation,the misery she was bringing on them all--soon swallowed up every private care;and covering her face with her handkerchief, Elizabeth was soon lost to everything else; and,after a pause of several minutes, was only recalled to a sense of her situation by the voice of her companion,who, in a manner which, though it spoke compassion, spoke likewise restraint, said,--
“I am afraid you have been long desiring my absence,nor have I anything to plead in excuse of my stay, but real, though unavailing concern.Would to Heaven that anything could be either said or done on my part,that might offer consolation to such distress!But I will not torment you with vain wishes, which may seem purposely to ask for your thanks.This unfortunate affair will, I fear, prevent my sister’s having the pleasure of seeing you at Pemberley to-day. ”
“Oh, yes!Be so kind as to apologize for us to Miss Darcy. Say that urgent business calls us home immediately.Conceal the unhappy truth as long as it is possible. I know it cannot be long.”
He readily assured her of his secrecy, again expressed his sorrow for her distress,wished it a happier conclusion than there was at present reason to hope, and,leaving his compliments for her relations, with only one serious parting look, went away.
As he quitted the room, Elizabeth felt how improbable it was that they should ever see each other again on such terms of cordiality as had marked their several meetings in Derbyshire; and as she threw a retrospective glance over the whole of their acquaintance, so full of contradictions and varieties, sighed at the perverseness of those feelings which would now have promoted its continuance, and would formerly have rejoiced in its termination.
If gratitude and esteem are good foundations of affection,Elizabeth’s change of sentiment will be neither improbable nor faulty. But if otherwise,if the regard springing from such sources is unreasonable or unnatural,in comparison of what is so often described as arising on a first interview with its object,and even before two words have been exchanged, nothing can be said in her defence,except that she had given somewhat of a trial to the latter method, in her partiality for Wickham,and that its ill success might, perhaps,authorize her to seek the other less interesting mode of attachment. Be that as it may,she saw him go with regret; and in this early example of what Lydia’s infamy must produce,found additional anguish as she reflected on that wretched business.Never since reading Jane’s second letter had she entertained a hope of Wickham’s meaning to marry her.No one but Jane, she thought, could flatter herself with such an expectation.Surprise was the least of all her feelings on this development.While the contents of the first letter remained on her mind, she was all surprise,all astonishment, that Wickham should marry a girl whom it was impossible he could marry for money;and how Lydia could ever have attached him had appeared incomprehensible.But now it was all too natural. For such an attachment as this, she might have sufficient charms;and though she did not suppose Lydia to be deliberately engaging in an elopement,without the intention of marriage, she had no difficulty in believing that neither her virtue nor her understanding would preserve her from falling an easy prey.
She had never perceived, while the regiment was in Hertfordshire,that Lydia had any partiality for him; but she was convinced that Lydia had wanted only encouragement to attach herself to anybody.Sometimes one officer, sometimes another, had been her favourite,as their attentions raised them in her opinion. Her affections had been continually fluctuating,but never without an object. The mischief of neglect and mistaken indulgence towards such a girl--oh!how acutely did she now feel it!